


AU Meme: William de Worde & Sacharissa Cripslock

by thisbluespirit



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficlet, Gen, Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 05:50:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12550564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: 10x AU scenarios for William & Sacharissa, written for daibhid_c in a Dreamwidth meme.





	AU Meme: William de Worde & Sacharissa Cripslock

**Wild West**  
A bullet shot through the window, smashing the pane.

“Not again,” said William without looking up from scribbling his latest lead article.

Sacharissa pulled herself out from under the desk and reached for the latest edition of _The Times_ , surveying the list of outlaws on the front page. “Hmm, I wonder which one we’ve annoyed _this_ time?”

 

**Coffee Shop**  
“This,” said the young lady who’d just burst into the local branch of Astraquids, “is an abomination!” She seemed to feel quite strongly about it, glaring at him.

William took a step backwards. “I’m fairly sure it’s just a coffee shop.”

“ _Just_ a coffee shop?” she said. “Oh, yes – ‘just’ a coffee shop that is currently putting my father’s tea shop out of business!”

 

**Shapeshifters**  
Shapeshifting was a useful way to hide from irate readers – and Mr Wintler – but it had its downsides. Sacharissa brushed ash off her jacket. “Next time, remind me – anything but the ash tray.”

William was having worse troubles. “Well, I can’t say I recommend being a wastepaper basket, either.”

“Where’s Otto?”

They both stared around and then, simultaneously, looked to the ash on the floor.

“Oh, dear, not again,” said Sacharissa.

 

**Fantasy/Fairy Tale**  
It wasn’t that the princess had wanted to remain in her slumber for another century, of course. Naturally, she was pleased to have been awoken and by the requisite eligible young nobleman, no less. It was just that there seemed to Sacharissa to be something vital lacking in the proceedings.

“Now,” said the young man, ready with a pencil and notebook, “perhaps you could tell our readers how it feels to be a century out of time?”

Sacharissa glared. “Strangely irritable, now that you ask!”

 

**. . . In SPACE!!**  
Sacharissa was busy dictating her account of the annual Star Captain’s ball into the central computer, when a message flashed up on the screen.

++Fancy a drink later?

Sacharissa turned to William, busy editing the text of another article beside her. “You could have just _asked_ , you know.”

 

**Apocalypse**  
“Do you remember,” said Boddony, “back when we started and the Patrician asked us about whether or not we’d built the Press on the site of something eldritch?”

William nodded.

“Turns out we should have checked a bit harder…”

 

**Schoolfic**  
“Gosh,” said Sacharissa, as she and William pressed themselves up against the side of the bike shed, both out of breath. “I didn’t realise running the school magazine would be so exciting.”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have tried to expose the Head in the first edition?”

“Or done that article about bullying at school?”

But, after all, it _had_ been the truth.

 

**Police/Firefighters/Medical**  
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” asked Otto. “DCI de Worde said –”

DS Cripslock breathed in and out heavily. “I know what the Chief Inspector said. Nothing suspicious about that nice Mr Smith, ha! We should leave the investigation alone and stop pestering innocent citizens. Well, even if he’s fooled, I’m not. Now, photograph those footprints and then we’ll break into his study. That’ll show him!”

“Smith?”

“No, Chief Inspector de Worde!”

 

**Supernatural**  
“Sacharissa,” said William, gently taking the bloodied stake from her hand. “I think the Professor meant well and you should probably stop hitting him now.”

She subsided, but she was still shaking with anger. “Yes, but look what he tried to do to poor Otto, the – _ing_ scoundrel!”

 

**Regency**  
“I understand that you would like to become a journalist, but the _Morning Post_ already has a full complement –”

Sacharissa raised her chin. “What you mean, Mr de Worde, is that a newspaper is no place for a genteel young lady, I believe?”

“Well, now that you say it, no, it isn’t.”

“And have you considered the means by which an genteel young lady _may_ make a living?”

William did. He blushed and then coughed. “Um. A governess?”

“Currently,” said Sacharissa, “if you don’t oblige me by letting me write a society column, I’m considering applying myself to something involving a very sharp needle.”

William took her point.


End file.
